They're still selling snake oil at the county fair

County fairs are a good place to go if you need to feel good about your station in life. I went for the demolition derby (never been), the ego boost was just a bonus. We ate fair food, played some games, and rode the tilt-a-whirl. There was even an attraction where you could see the world's largest rat.
If I didn't know it was a scam when I read 'world's largest', I should have known when I heard the recording that was piping into the air. "See the world's largest rat, over one hundred pounds ....it consumes gallons of water every day!" This particular fair wasn't very big and the first time we passed the giant rat attraction we decided to save the two bucks and skip it. The second time we went by we were sucked in. Mostly becuase the rat that was drawn on the booth looked exactly like this.....
Even though curiosity got the best of us, we didn't lose our heads completely. We decided that we didn't all need to pay to see the giant rat, one person would go and take a picture with their cell phone for the rest to see.

Guess who got nominated? Me. So, I payed my two bucks and joined all the 11 year old boys and stepped up to see the 'giant rat'. I wasn't in there two seconds before I came back out again. Why? Because I was swindled, that's why. It wasn't a giant rat, it was a capybara. If you don't know what that is, here's a picture. It is a rodent, but looks more like a giant guinea pig to me....
I mean, it doesn't even have a tail. I was pissed off. I hate being taken advantage of. I walked back up to the girl selling admission and lodged my complaint.

Me: That isn't a rat, it's a capybara

Her: (being a snide little snit) Also known as the South American River Rat

Me: It's false advertising, your sign doesn't have a picture of a capybara, it has a picture of a rat - with a tail. Capybara's don't even have tails. I want my money back.

Her: (making the most repulsive face ever) Well, it is the biggest capabara in the world, she's so big becuase we baby her.

Me: Oh yeah, she's living the good life in that cage with no sunlight, and not so much as some hay to lay on.

Her: Sorry, no refunds.

It was on, I was pissed and had nothing but time. I noticed some people contemplating the attraction. I went right up to them and very loudly told them it wasn't a giant rat, but a capybara, and a normal sized one at that. I chased five groups of people away from that attraction before I pranced off in victory. Ha!

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