Heroes rant now with 30% more rage!

I'm going to rant right now because Jesus Christ does Heroes fucking suck this season. I don't think they can even redeem it they're so far in the hole, unless someone wakes up next week like this whole season has been a dream. Even still, if that happens I'll be giving up on principle. So far the only thing that has kept me watching at all this season is my sheer disbelief that the next episode aired could suck as much as the one I've just watched. They prove me wrong every week.

Alright, let's talk plot holes, shall we. Assume the only givens here are that the Heroes are all incredibly stupid. We'll pretend that's the trade off for their extra powers. Case in point, Mohinder, he only got really ridiculous once he shot up with power juice. (we'll forgive him that one since many a Sci-Fi narrative has been based on such an event) Even still, they showed him as MohinderFly in the future, so does he inject himself again? I don't care what the Heroes do as far as time travel is concerned, none of them seem to have the power to make a (full earth?) solar eclipse happen so he should have never had those powers/deformities in the future if he was just magically healed by the eclipse.

Now, how about Hiro. WTF??? How much of a slap in the face is it to every 30 something into comic books to have him running around with the psyche a 10 year old kid. Do you think that maybe, just maybe, Tim Kring shit on his major demographic with that one? Yeah, I guess that was in case all the articles being written about how stupid he thinks his fans are were too subtle. And what was with that corn thing? Does Hiro's other power include an internal divining rod for comic book stores? How did they even find that place? And, who's drawing the 9th Wonder comics now anyway if the artist is dead? Papa Petrelli? The only thing they did to preserve continuity at all in this episode was to have Hiro think in Japanese. It's something I guess. I'm not done though...

What about Elle. She's trying to mack on the guy who killed her father! I think Sylar is super fucking hot, but even I'm not that horny!!! Plus, I love how she is so willing to work for Papa Petrelli. Why isn't she as afraid of him as the rest of the old timers. I know she's young, but she is by no means new to this game, she was inside the inside when she was working for the company, against Papa Petrelli, and now she's working for him no questions asked. For what, to get a little ass? Plus, her and Claire were like BFF for two seconds, yet she was more than willing to go after her. If it weren't for Claire she would have died when she caused that plane to crash, doesn't that count for something? And, don't even let me get into Elle's back story with Sylar, because when they finally met earlier this season they were strangers. -Peach pie my ass.
And Sylar, he spun that whole yarn two weeks ago about being good now and how him and Elle were products of their environment. How it really isn't their fault they were bad, but it wasn't really them and they could change. How do they change you ask? By becoming Papa Petrelli's pawns and doing his evil bidding? They haven't even shown him suggesting thoughts to Sylar, so why is he following the man that abandoned him at birth so willingly.

And boy oh boy those other Petrelli brothers. How in the hell was Nathan going to fly The Haitian back if he dampens his powers? Even if we assume that The Haitian can turn his power off (which I've never seen) then how was he going to carry Peter and The Haitian. There would have been a three way in the sky! I also love how they just happened to drop out of thin air, unharmed, and land right in The Haitian's lap. I wasn't surprised when bossy ass Nathan got them lost, but where did Peter get his mad navigation skills? Did he learn that in nursing school? Mama and Papa Petrelli both seem to be bad asses, why are their sons so stupid.
Also, why does Ali Larter's latest character even care if Nathan gets elected to the White House? What does that get her? A better job? As manipulative as she is being, don't you think that she could actually maneuver something that might benefit her? And wouldn't God tell Nathan about what she's up to? As much as Nathan questioned his epiphany's from God, he sure hasn't questioned why they've stopped. I guess divine intervention is fleeting.

Now this Eclipse. What's so special about it besides the fact that it is happening simultaneously around the globe despite the fact that the sun can only shine on one side of the earth at a time? That, and that it's the second solar eclipse to happen in one year? I mean, even if we did buy into the "my powers came from the eclipse" story line for the younger generation, what about the parents? What about Adam Monroe? He's had powers for like hundreds of years, so what did that eclipse that happened a year ago (and all the subsequent ones) do to him/them? Surely the parents have run into this before, shouldn't they know how to handle this by now?
What's this catalyst crap all about? Claire is the stupidest of the Heroes. Before the episode even started we called her "I'm so happy to be in pain" tripe. So why is she the catalyst? Wouldn't her body force this artificially planted catalyst out the way it does a bullet in an effort to heal itself? Better yet, if she was able to figure out she's the catalyst, surely others have too. I bet you ten bucks that HRG says he's known she was the catalyst all along. My favorite part of last nights episode was when he put his glasses on and you knew he was going to kick some ass. It was just like when Stallone switches his cap to the back in 'Over the Top'.

Now for the where have they been section of my rage. What happened to all of those characters who were so important last season who have seemed to just have disappeared? Most notably, little Molly, who was so coveted last season. She was around for one episode this season, (in a flash to the future where she was still the same age) and she hasn't been heard from since. Mohinder surely isn't taking care of her and Parkman has been too busy in; the desert, airports, corn fields. Molly's only like eight years old, did CYS step in? Also, what about Claire's fly boy? He was the first person to ever understand her yet she hasn't mentioned him all season. There were two main characters dedicated to protecting Micah the first season, now he's just forgotten, along with his cousin, St. Joan. Plus, I read that Kring just took out Peter's Irish sweetie for no good reason, and that explanation is supposed to suffice. Are we supposed to just pretend the others got lost in the time jumping as well? They all bug the shit out of me, but still, where's the continuity? On a side note, how come besides The Haitian and the Nakamura's the only Heroes seem to be American?

I think the writers for Heroes need to rent the first two seasons and make a giant timeline as they watch it, not unlike Dr. Surresh's map. That way they can remember key points like what abilities Sylar has obtained (don't get me started on that one) and who's crossed paths with whom. Just a suggestion.
I can't help but notice that almost every Hero has issues with their parents. Issues that seem to be the driving factors for most of their actions. I bet Tim Kring had an unhappy childhood. Now we all have to suffer.