It's an experiment, experiment with me.....

So last night (in a drunken frenzy) I decided to embark on a little social experiment. I gave my digits if you will to not one, but two bartenders. The first one was cute, older than me (and that's old!) and definately interested. The second one was cute, younger than me (and I mean young) and probably not.

I only gave my number to the second bartender in the interest of seeing who would actually call back. The other drunks sitting at the bar were really interested in what I was doing and even scrounged their purses for paper and a pen for me. I always have paper (Hello Kitty notepad) and a pen in my purse, but alas I left my purple handbag in the car.

I left the first bartender my number in yellow highlighter that I wrote on a name tag (they do that there) and the second bartender not only got my number, but some chicks credit card receipt for I don't know what. I tried to talk them out of offering up the receipt, but what could I do they insisted.

I guess we'll see what happens.... You guys don't know it, but I'm pretty cute and I have an amazing rack so I have high hopes.

Also, break out the cornballer, giant juice boxes and boy fights tapes becuase it's time for a party! Go here to see that the Arrested Development movie is indeed on!!! I am really happy that Michael Cera finally got his head out of his ass and decided to pay homage to the core character (and the only one he's really played thus far) that gave him his start.

This one is bad-ass!

singing to the tune of Aqualung: The robot has a mustache!

That little ditty has been running on a loop in my head for weeks now. I bought this awesome t-shirt on Threadless.com a while ago and now I'm hooked to the sight. I bought two more tees on sale recently and they came just in time for my nephew's first birthday. I really wanted to wear something that was undoubledly me and that DM would find innappropriate. This shirt fit the bill perfectly.

Awesome, right!!! I know it's childish to rock the boat like that, but when it comes to family functions I have to entertain myself.

sidenote: I totally didn't get the Pac Man theme until I wore this shirt ...twice. When I bought it the thought process was more like; Astronaut-check, Astroghosts-check, bad-ass t-shirt that looks like it was made for me - sold!

How not to find love, ....or How to spot a predator

As a hip girl about town I keep up with the local goings on by reading the free weekly city paper. I particularly enjoy Savage Love and Direct Connections (the personals) and yes, the i in Connections is dotted with a heart. I'm not going to say I'm a voyeur per se, but I definitely like having my own private view into the personal lives of others. That's also why Facebook fascinates me.

Some people run the same tired personal adds every week. Others are either extremely successful or didn't realize how much it would cost to check their responses because you see them once, twice tops and never hear from them again. Sure it's free to place an add, but at $2.19 a minute to respond to or browse adds you'd have to be pretty serious. I think it's a testament to the lengths some people will go to for companionship, and just how crafty predators can be.

Most of the adds are for men seeking men, then men seeking women, only a few women seeking men, and lots of alternative lifestyle requests. The one 40yr old non-smoking, non-drinking lesbian that was looking for love & friendship must have found it because she hasn't been around for a while.

Let's take a look at some of the more interesting adds running this week...

47-YEAR-OLD MALE SEEKS Girl-friend, live-in 19+, responsible. I am a home owner.
I pity the down on her luck girl who responds to this add. She should have known she was going to wind up chained in the basement as part of his 'collection'. Also note the age difference, typical of a M seeking F add.

FOOT WORSHIPER! LOOKING for girl who likes foot worship, likes her feet pampered and tickled. 18-40. Must have really pretty feet. I love women's feet.
Think this guy is into feet? No questioning his motives here, this fellow sure knows how to drive a point home. 19% of the M seeking F adds are for foot worshipers. I have a friend who's into feet. Sometimes I send him pictures of mine in my heels. I figure I can't hold his foot fetish against him loving shoes as much as I do.

I AM AN attractive SWM, 46, seeking a Couple for hot adult fun who are horny and love sex. I also love sex and I also am horny.
Dude, really? You also are redundant.

27-YEAR-OLD SHM, 5'7", 172 lbs, black/brown, medium build, smoker, social drinker, looking for someone nice, respectful.
This one looks innocent enough until you get to that one word - respectful. It would be one thing if he were in his fifties, but this guy is only 27. Plus, to me showing others respect comes naturally. (Unless you act like an asshole then I'll definitely treat you like one.) So I can't help but see that and think this guy might be prone to slapping girls around a little, you know, should they step out of line.

VERY DOMINANT BIWM, CD, ISO extremely submissive Female who is into role-play, spankings, bondage.
I like a good spanking as much as the next girl, but really, if you want to get dressed up like a woman, tie me up, and dominate me while I cower I have to wonder what kind of job your mother did on you. Not that I'm judging.

SWF, 24, LOOKING for Male, any age, race, looking to have a good time. If that's you and you like to be spontaneous and generous, please respond.
Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger..... Wait, yes I am.

and our honorable mention goes to:

HEY YOU! YOU with the dreams still alive. DWPM, 55, 5'9", 145lbs, graying dark hair and mustache. Smoker, reader, film viewer, music lover, dreamer, romantic. looking for smallish Female counterpart.
This one has been running as long as I can remember and every time I see it I can't help but roll my eyes. You sir, are a douche bag. I'm guessing it's the word smallish that's holding you back. How small are we talking here anyway, dwarf small or like midget small?

ABBREVIATIOINS: S-Single D-Divorced WW-Widowed F-Female M-Male B-Black NA-Native American W-White A-Asian H-Hispanic C-Christian J-Jewish G-Gay Bi-Bisexual CD-Cross-dresser TV-Transvestite TS-Transsexual n/s-Nonsmoker n/d-Nondrinker ISO-In Search Of LTR-Long-Term Relationship P-Prefessional TLC-Tender Loving Care H/W/P-Height/Weight Proportionate SOH-Sense of Humor

Can you hear me from way up here...... on my soap box?

If you've never stood up for something you believe in you don't know how good it feels. The exhilaration brought on by all the adrenaline mixed with the satisfaction of doing what you know is right, there's nothing like that feeling in the world. It can be as simple as asking someone to quiet down in the theater or as monumental as marching on Washington in support of your beliefs. I've done both.

When I first saw the trailer for Milk I was excited, I've always been interested in The Twinkie Defense. I was actually surprised by how many people there were around me that had never heard of it. Didn't everyone grow up listening to Jello Biafra's spoken words on cassette? Well, I finally saw Milk last night and it was moving. I left the theater feeling empowered and a bit like a political slouch all at the same time. To me that means the film did it's job.

I kind of feel like this overly litigious, disgustingly PC society has made it hard to get angry about anything. It's alright to be mad, show passion for something and leave complacency behind. Whether you're asking that family in Wal-Mart to please have their child quit kicking your cart or staging a protest for equality. I implore you to go out and prove common courtesy is not dead.

I never knew Chevy was so diverse

There's a place by my house that makes the best donuts. As a matter of fact, sister has been down in the dumps lately, so to cheer up her Friday in hopes she'll have a good weekend I stopped and got her a donut on our way to work. She buzzed me later in the morning and said, "This is the freshest most delicious pink donut I've had in a year!" Yep, they're that good, and well pink sprinkles make anything taste better!

Anyway, I noticed a while back that the face on the bakery's packaging looks eerily similar to another mug you might recognize.

Coincidence? I think not. No wonder Chevy's donuts are so good, look how happy he looks up top in his bakers hat. He's a damn sight more chipper than Fred the Baker. Always bitching that it was time to make the donuts. Dude, national TV is hardly the outlet to complain if you're unhappy with your chosen profession.
Looking all smug with his Hitler mustache. Nice farmers tan, Fred.

Chuck's cherry pie adventure in 3D.... almost.

I'm totally psyched for the new shows on NBC tonight. Medium comes back after a long hiatus, Chuck is in 3D and even if Heroes is bad it'll be so bad it's good. I can only say that because major staff changes to the shows writing team have given me hope for the future.

I love to watch stuff in 3D. I went to see the last Harry Potter at an Imax theater and was super bummed when I recently saw My Bloody Valentine on a non 3D screen. I have been excited for Chuck in 3D for a while. All day long I've had Chuck in 3D and cherry pie on my  mind. I even wrote a couple emails about both. I don't know why, I guess I just had a craving. 

I didn't want to run around from store to store looking for glasses so I called Pepsi for some about a week ago. The girl  on the phone said it would only take a couple days so I waited. And waited. When they weren't in the mail today I was annoyed to say the least and knew I was going to spend the evening in hot pursuit of 3D glasses. 

In all I went to 3 grocery stores, 2 drug stores, 1 convenience store, and 2 big chain discount stores. None of them had the glasses. The last grocery store we went to said he gave away his last four about an hour before. We drove by that place and decided to hit it on our way back. Rookie mistake. I must be a rotten person because none of these places had the cherry pie I was craving either. 

Finally, our last stop (and last option before we were home again) had the pies. That's where I got to witness the most interesting thing to cross my path all day. The two pies, one with a sell by date of Feb 4th @ 9:39 and the other with a sell by date of Feb 4th 16:27 had completely different labels. Assuming the shelf life of the pies is standard  that means that in the 6 hours and 48 minutes that lapsed between when the pies were made Hostess switched to new labels.  I think that's pretty interesting and I guess that's why I'm a huge fucking nerd.